Sports N' Metal Blog by Jason Voorhees

METAL FEST

2/13/2020

Written By Jason Voorhees

So the year is 2020. You are the most sought after music producer on the market and are trying to make a "huge splash." Eddie Trunk from "That Metal Show" comes to you with the idea of a lifetime.

His proposal: He wants you to arrange the most significant and most rad heavy metal music festival in history. This event should feature the best of the best in Heavy Metal...new and old. The criteria...the bands that you choose must have name notoriety as well as multi-platinum status. The group should also fit into the general metal category but could also be hard rock.

Eddie wants a commitment of 40 bands as the festival will be a two-day event featuring 20 performers per day.

All of the money and proceeds from this festival will help fund the war against Cancer. The festival will be called METAL GODS OF THUNDER AND LIGHTNING. The festival will be played at the iconic Woodstock grounds in Bethel, New York.

At this point, it's being labeled the concert of the century...and the anticipation is building. The only significant criteria are that the bands must fit the heavy metal category (Hair Metal, Grunge Metal, Death Metal, Thrash, Speed, Industrial, etc.) in some way, shape, or form.

Ok...so you, as the next musical guru, have a month to get the lineup created. Eddie has secured Black Sabbath and AC/DC as the two headliners. Sabbath will perform on Saturday (first night), and AC/DC will perform Sunday (second night). You are also given the option of having a band that has retired to reunite. More importantly...maybe even secure a band that has lost one or more founding members.

This opportunity is one for the ages and will either make or break you. Eddie wants you to assemble the bands by order of musical lore and importance to the more significant cause. You have been given unlimited funds and also an expert team of stellar recruiters. Your team includes some of the most excellent musicians of yesterday as well as today. The team comprises Mick Jagger, Ozzy Osbourne (who will be performing with Black Sabbath), Billy Idol, Jimmy Paige, Alice Cooper, and Steven Tyler.

The team sets out to recruit the best of the best, and the results are gold. After weeks of work, the following bands have been assembled to participate in this festival of all festivals...

Guns N Roses, Metallica, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Aerosmith, Van Halen (featuring Sammy Haggar and David Lee Roth), Motley Crue, Def Leppard, Pantera (featuring Zack Wylde on guitar and Chris Adler on Drums), Lamb of God, Megadeth, Slayer, Testament, Anthrax, Overkill, Alice In Chains, Bullet For My Valentine, Avenged Sevenfold, Skid Row (featuring Sebastian Bach), Tool, Ratt, Whitesnake, Poison, Cinderella, Alice Cooper, KISS, Twisted Sister, Quiet Riot, Faith No More, Sevendust, Slipknot, Killswitch Engage, Marilyn Manson, KORN, Nine Inch Nails, White Zombie, Bon Jovi, and Dokken.

Along with those bands, Jimmy Paige/Robert Plant, Billy Idol, and The Rolling Stones, during an opening ceremony on Friday, September 11th.

Eddie agrees that this is an awe-inspiring lineup after assembling the bands and that this could be a potentially epic event. Forty of Metals best. The Beasts of Metal. Some hot reunions; Star-Studded Talent up and down the lineup.

After failing to secure the Woodstock grounds, the team has now settled on the New York Yankees stadium as the venue. The tickets will hold a 300 dollar price tag, which will be non-refundable. The 300 dollars covers the entire event (3 days). As mentioned...all proceeds will be donated to Cancer research and helping cancer patients.

The show will be held Saturday, September 12th, and Sunday, September 13th, with a special opening ceremony on Friday, September 11th.

Along with the bands, there will be plenty of refreshments and donations and sponsors from Pepsi, Frito Lay, Apple, Google, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, and many others. The entire cast of "That Metal Show" will be on hand as well and will film a three-day live show at the event. The following will make guest appearances: Guest appearances will also BEYONCE, Jessica Alba, Jennifer Lopez, David Chappelle, porn's best, "The Hangover" cast, Jim Breuer, and other team members Billy Idol, Jimmy Paige, The Rolling Stones, and Steven Tyler.

Your team has struck gold, and Eddie Trunk Salutes you. How does it feel to be a METAL GOD?? Please get your tickets as they are hot for the take. Rock on America. This is more than a fistful of metal... it's more like a DUMPSTER FULL. Here is the three-day lineup for the festival that is coming at the end of the year...

FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 11th