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HOWIE ROSEMAN AND THE "QUARTERBACK FACTORY."

4/26/2020

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Written By Jason Voorhees

​"And with the 53rd pick in the 2020 NFL Draft...the Philadelphia Eagles select (QB) Jalen Hurts." Commissioner Goodell's words rang out, and with it, a chain reaction of utter shock engulfed the entire Eagles fan base. 

The Eagles have made many questionable draft picks throughout their history, but none of them trumps the bombshell that was dropped this past Friday during the 2020 NFL second round draft. The Hurts selection may go down as the most controversial draft in Eagles history.

Coming into the draft, the Eagles had many holes to fill. The goal would be to maximize investment return by combining a mixture of best players available while addressing its most immediate needs. 

The first round saw the Eagles select TCU wide receiver Jalen Reagor in the first round with the 21st pick. While many analysts claimed that this was a reach, the fact remains that they did address their gaping need for a play-making wide receiver.

But then, in the second round, it happened. While just about every person watching (fans, players, analysts, other teams, etc.) expected the Eagles to take a DB, or OL, or LB, or maybe even another WR, Howie Roseman shocked the world. The Eagles selected a quarterback. And with it, Roseman showed his propensity to zig while everyone else zags.

The initial reaction was feelings of confusion and disbelief. Is this some big mistake? Was this somehow a dream? Had they selected a CORNERBACK? Are my eyes playing tricks on me? All of these questions and many more were bandied around by all parties. 

The confusion quickly turned to anger.

And then that night during the press conference...Howie Roseman referred to the fact that the Philadelphia Eagles are a "Quarterback Factory." Those familiar with Roseman know that he loves to hear himself talk while spewing out eloquent rhetoric.

While many people were ready to drive their cars off of the Walt Whitman, Mr. Roseman continued to play the company line as he laid out an inadequate spin on the sad state of affairs.

Day 3 of the draft saw Howie go back to his days as a magician. The mad scientist was ago on his game. As each round came and went, Howie, did his best savior imitation. He turned water into wine while turning loaves into fishes; during an all-out blitz that saw a series of trades to acquire multiple picks, as well as getting wide receiver Marquise Goodwin from the Niners.

While the draft seemed to come together and on paper looked pretty successful, the elephant in the room remains. Why on earth would you draft a quarterback in the second round, especially when you had so many other holes to fill?

The football draft will always be a crapshoot. It's the law of averages in its simplest form. You take as many darts as you can and throw them, hoping to hit as many bullseyes as possible. Unfortunately, more of these players miss than the ones that become star players. 

The fact remains that you don't win the draft on the third day. Although 60-65 % of players come from those rounds, it's the first two days that traditionally produce its most productive players.

With that being said, it's so important to draft someone that's going to be a plug and play; not someone that you're going to have to groom in a developmental lab. When judging the Jalen Hurts pick, I think we are trying to rationalize something that does not make sense.

Of course, some drink the green Kool-Aid and will never question the all-mighty front office. But that's not me. When I see something, I am going to call them out on their bullshit. As a die-hard fan, I am going to ask the tough questions. I am going to criticize moves when they don't make sense.

Unfortunately, the "Stepford fans" are sadly blinded. They wouldn't know the difference between Byron Evans and Bob Evans. Nor could they tell the difference between Reggie White and Betty White.

In the last ten years, the bottom line is that the Eagles have only had six players (post second round) to become significant players or starters on this team. This is a serious issue, folks. The Eagles cannot draft. And when you're trying to become relevant again, in a division that has seen all of the other teams get significantly better, the draft is that much more important.

The second round has been particularly good to the Eagles in history. Players like Sheldon Brown, Wes Hopkins, Zach Ertz, Randall Cunningham, Desean Jackson, LeSean McCoy, Eric Allen, Brian Dawkins, Dallas Goedert, and Miles Sanders were all drafted in the second round.

Knowing this fact makes taking a quarterback here all the more infuriating. The second round is not where you take luxury picks. The second round allows you an excellent opportunity to add a significant player. And by taking Jalen Hurts, you, unfortunately, wasted that opportunity.

Nothing that the Eagles brass can say will make any sense out of this apparent gaffe. And I mean this with the most brutally honest sincerity. This is no disrespect to Jalen Hurts. Jalen is a very talented kid that has a bright future in the NFL. But this isn't about Hurts. 

This is about Howie Roseman and his arrogant, smug attitude. 

​The Philadelphia Eagles brass is trying to reinvent the wheel. This is about a holier culture than the renaissance that ignores its intelligent die-hard fans. And most of all, this is about the Eagle's lack of commitment to their franchise quarterback.

Only time will tell what the meaning of all of this is. Some analysts love Jalen Hurts, and even they are shaking their heads. There is no logical reasoning behind this madness. Carson Wentz once again must look over his shoulder. Jalen Hurts will be unhappy because he is not starting. No one wins in this scenario.

The only thing good to come of this will be an endless debate in a time where we are starving for the next headline. 

As we look to the rest of the offseason, there will be nothing but scrutiny. From the annals of "Stupid Money," Howie has gone entirely off of the rails. 

You better have answers because we're not buying your lies. The fact remains that you wasted an excellent opportunity to improve the roster. Ultimately Jalen Hurts will either make you or break you. The time has come, and your time is short, Howie. If this doesn't work out, it will be time for you to take out an insurance policy. Fans are running out of patience. The Quarterback Factory is now on the clock. 
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TOP TEN GLAM METAL BANDS ALL-TIME.

4/21/2020

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Written By Jason Voorhees

The COVID-19 pandemic has overcome the world. We are living in unchartered times...something that most people could have never imagined. As we continue along on this journey...many people have been forced out of work, which means a lot more free time to kill. Some have implemented home workout programs. Others have begun binge-watching their favorite programs. There has even been a comeback for old-school movies and documentaries...and then there are people like myself who enjoy writing.


As I clamor for the next headline, I thought it would be cool to take a look back at a near and dear time to my heart. Of course, that period was eighties metal, more specifically, the glam metal sunset strip movement. 


For me, this is where my passion for heavy metal first began....yes that's right. When bands were most known for their hair spray, their infested long hair, and their playboy modelized makeup. An era where bands were measured by how many groupies they could fill a bus with. Groups that were fueled by a steady diet of sex, drugs, and rock and roll. Glam metal became one of the quintessential genres of the 1980s.


Sometimes referred to as "hair metal," the glam era was a subgenre of heavy metal that mixed pop-like hooks and riffs with 70's style glam rock. Please note that I genuinely don't prefer the term "hair metal" as it is a derogatory term that only came into existence after the grunge movement had started. 


So who are the top glam metal bands of all-time? We are looking for the definitive list of the top ten metal bands of the glam era...


Please take note...I have excluded bands like Def Leppard, KISS, Van Halen, Guns n' Roses, Skid Row, Aerosmith, Whitesnake, Bon Jovi, among others who, while they were huge during the era and may have even gone "Glam" during that time; they were not indeed glam bands because they predated the scene, transcended the background, or were not glam metal bands at all by definition.


Honorable Mentions- Autograph, Stryper, Quiet Riot, Tesla, Hanoi Rocks.


​Without further ado...here are the definitive top ten glam metal bands of all-time...

10. Cinderella
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Straight out of the suburbs of Philadelphia, Cinderella quickly rose to the top of the glam scene. The band produced several multi-platinum albums, while many of their songs became a mainstay on MTV. The album 'Night Songs' sold 50,000 copies per week during a long stretch when it debuted in 1986. Lead vocalist Tom Keifer could sing with the best of them, while Jeff Labar remained one of the most underrated guitarists of that era. This group is so much better than they have ever gotten credit for—one of the true giants of glam for sure.

9. W.A.S.P.
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W.A.S.P. was one of the original bands to make it big from the "Sunset Strip Movement." Their stage show was a mix of glam and goth, violent and energetic. The lead vocalist Blackie Lawless would throw raw meat into the crowd. The band's song "Animal, Fuck Like A Beast" landed them on Tipper Gore's filthy fifteen lists. This was the beginning of parental advisory labels on albums, which ironically only made the kids want to buy the album more. Their video "I Wanna Be Somebody" was an MTV stalwart, which readily fueled their popularity. One of the greats!

8. Dokken
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George Lynch is one of the quintessential guitar players in glam. While Dokken pumped out single after single, Don Dokken became one of the amazing front men as well. The band became popular with MTV smash hits like "Burnin' Like a Flame" and "Into the Fire." They have also known for their heavy ballad laden tracks like "Alone Again." Another single, "Dream Warriors," became the lead single for the hit 3rd film of the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise. Unfortunately, the band's legacy was marred by constant infighting between band members.

7. L.A. Guns
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L.A. Guns was formed out of Guns n Roses' ashes and centered around the hotshot guitarist Traci Guns and vocalist Phil Lewis. The band was a sleazy mix of glam and punk. Their sound truly defined the epicenter of the era. They were not as raw and edgy as their counterparts of GNR but still added that dangerous energy. Traci Guns appearing with short hair in the "Ballad of Jayne" video and all tattooed up in the "It's Over Now" video seemed way ahead of its time while indeed foreshadowing the new look 90's. Probably the most underrated glam metal band of all-time. 

6. Faster Pussycat
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Faster Pussycat was such a massive part of the Sunset Strip metal scene as no list would be complete without them. Lead vocalist Taime Downe co-owned the "Cathouse" with Riki Rachtman of Headbanger's Ball fame; the NUMBER ONE hangout for all metalheads, bands, and groupies during the '80s, along with the "Rainbow Bar and Grill." The band was the epitome of sleaze and razzled with their long hair, denim, and outrageous getup. Their most significant moment came with the hit single that became MTV royalty..." House of Pain." Glam metal in its most proper form here, folks.

5. Twisted Sister
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​Dee Snider became the larger than life clown figure that put metal all over MTV during the 1980s. Their videos "We're Not Gonna Take It" and "I Wanna Rock" gained them glam metal royalty as MTV played them out. For a while, the band even became one of the most popular bands in the world. Dee led the charge in court to defend metal and rock and roll in general; against Tipper Gore and her cohorts who were trying to attack the music scene. After the album 'Stay Hungry,' their popularity would quickly decline, and unfortunately, they faded away when they were on though there was no stopping them!

4. RATT
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​They were one of the true kings of the Sunset Strip movement.  RATT was one of the first original waves of bands to have their records paraded all over MTV. Singles like "Round and Round," "Lay it Down," and "You're In Love" set record after record on MTV glory. The band continued to release hit singles throughout the eighties. Not too many bands can boast the catalog that these monsters cranked out with their first three records...all selling over one million copies...their debut album 'Out of the Cellar' going 3x platinum. Metallica once opened for them before taking their act to San Francisco. Definitely among the best of the best!

3. Warrant
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Jani Lane is arguably the greatest songwriter of the glam metal era. Warrant not only had a glam look, the hit songs and the hooks, but Jani Lane's lyrics were emotional, heartfelt, and at times riveting. "Uncle Tom's Cabin" is one of the most epic songs the band has ever produced and is a shining example of how far ahead they indeed were at telling a story. Songs like "All My Bridges Are Burning" invoked addiction themes with lyrics that told the truest of tales. Although the band became defined by their hit single "Cherry Pie," they indeed were so much more. Definitely one of the supreme leaders of the Sunset Strip montage.

2. Poison
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​No band perhaps defines this era more than Poison. They were one of the hardest working bands of all-time, earning every inch of fame through that strong ethic and dedication. No band looked more glam than Poison, and they backed it up with amazing live shows and hit singles, which came quicker than you can say mingle. They are one of the most popular bands, and even the slightest of fans can name every band member without hesitation. Bobby Dall once said that "I never wanted to become a musician, I wanted to be a Rockstar, and that's what I became!"  Poison was the seminal Rockstars!

1. Motley Crue
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The fountain of decadence. Sleazy and dangerous. No band had more of an impact on the glam metal scene than these guys.  Motley Crue didn't just do drugs; they did all of the drugs.  Motley Crue didn't only pimp women; they owned them. The glam metal scene was about excess, and no one defined that more than The Crue. Another original member of the Sunset Strip to make it big. No band from this list can match their success. While their exploits and relationships away from the band make tabloid fodder, they have also enjoyed many other avenues besides music. Simply the best. Vince Neil, Tommy Lee, Nikki Sixx, and Mick Mars...Long Live the Crue!
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A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A SUPERMARKET EMPLOYEE THESE DAYS...CORONA VIRUS FALLOUT.

4/3/2020

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Written By Jason Voorhees

It's just another day at the local supermarket except it's not. 

Yes the buildings are the same.  The employees still have the same job functions...namely stocking the shelves, servicing the customers and providing excellent customer service.  Yes, the latest edition of elevator music continues to echo on loop over the system sound speakers.  And yes, the latest deliveries still arrive on an almost daily basis, carrying it's most precious cargo to fit the latest needs of today's shoppers' wish lists.

Let me repeat, its just another day at the local supermarket except it's not.  While many of the above characteristics remain a staple of these employee's every day work lives, the very existence of their true identity has been turned upside down.  As COVID-19 Corona Virus continues to wreak havoc across this nation, supermarkets reign among those front line entities along with first responders and health care workers.

While most of the country remains on lockdown due to stay at home restrictions, these true heroes risk their lives daily in order to provide essential services to those in need.  So while the essential job functions of these employees remains very much the same, the fact is that their every day work life is really very different.

First of all, most of, if not all of these employees are gripped with fear.  Fear of the unknown.  Will one of us be the next victim to contract the virus? 

Skeptics have been slow to acknowledge the science behind the spread of this novel corona virus. 

With that being said, many health experts have now warned that asymptomatic "silent carriers" could be transmitting the virus as data suggests this is indeed occurring.  Whether it's someone being asymptomatic or whether it's someone that is pre-symptomatic, the bottom line is that supermarket employees remain in the line of fire.  Estimates show that 18-30% of all COVID-19 infections are indeed asymptomatic.  In other words, its very possible that many of these employees have already contracted the virus and don't even know it.

Not only do the associates fear getting the virus themselves; but more importantly they are scared that they will contract it and then pass it on to a loved one.  Many of the workers have discussed these fears openly; its truly gut wrenching to see their pain and the "unknown" entity only enhances these concerns.  

Furthermore; the situation is only exacerbated, by the lack of shopper limits that we are seeing across a wide range of companies throughout the country.  Many chains have begun to start enforcing these limits but too many are still ignoring this factor.  To be quite honest, this could be a game changer in mitigating the spread. 

Buying food remains an essential function but it's certainly not essential for families of five and six people to participate in that shopping trip.  It's also asinine for the same shoppers to buy three cart loads of food every other day even while their refrigerators remain above capacity already.  This is the problem.  People are truly not taking this virus seriously and its sadly at the workers expense.  This factor can be measured by the increase in foot traffic that we are seeing on a daily basis.  Some supermarkets are up two-three hundred percent in sales on a weekly basis and that's no exaggeration.  

Plain and simple, companies must restrict shoppers and must institute strict limits on the amount of shoppers in the store at one time.  State and Local governments must step in and enforce these guidelines by whatever means necessary.  Local police departments and or military should be called upon to ensure that these limits are being followed.  That would be an excellent step in mitigating the spread and would definitely aid in decreasing the anxiety that every supermarket employee is feeling at this moment.

Another key challenge that grocery store associates are facing today is dealing with rude and nasty customers.  While the majority of shoppers continue to remain pleasant and thankful for the job that these workers are doing, many of them have had to deal with insensitive and selfish customers who show no regard for human respect and dignity.  Grocery store employees are risking their lives the very moment they walk through those four walls so please show a little more courtesy.   

Associates are yelled at on a daily basis.  They deal with insults and obscenities on the regular.  Their private space Is invaded more often than not.  The six foot rule continues to be a figment of our imagination.  In most cases, social distancing is non existent.  The incompetent questions like, "Why don't you have toilet paper?", or "How come you ran out of milk?," or "When will you be getting hand sanitizer in stock?" are all too familiar.  We have even saw some customers coughing while not covering their mouth or (inadvertently) spitting in associates faces while talking.

And then there are the patrons who continue to ignore the special time that has been set aside for the elderly and immunocompromised customers as well as the first responders and health care workers.  Blatant disrespect folks.  Also the uneducated shoppers wearing masks and gloves who continually cross contaminate on a minute by minute basis; which mind you actually enhances risk of exposure or exposing others.  Then there are the customers who feel it's necessary to touch seventeen varieties of the same item before putting them all back to then only grab six more.  

Next just take a look at the parking lots and sidewalks that remain littered with customers vile, disgusting, germ infested gloves and masks.  Yes, grocery store employees have been subjected to some very rude and offensive treatment and the list can go on and on.

​Many of these associates have been working around the clock for three weeks and counting.  Its like groundhog day.  Burnout is today's next recipe.  Even when they are tired, these employees still show up every day and give three hundred percent effort.  The amount of freight that is coming in is sometimes two-three times as much as a normal day.  Shelves are beginning to get back to capacity and then it hits again.

Panic driven shopping round 2.  When will it end?  No one truly knows.  However; one thing remains emphatically clear.  Life in the supermarket business has drastically changed.  The day in the life of a true hero; because that's exactly what these employees are.  They are absolute heroes and should be praised for their strength and courage.

Supermarkets have become the epicenter for essential business and as a result the lives of its employees have become more complicated.  As the unknown nature of this pandemic continues, so to does the anxiety that the associates will face on a daily basis.  Hopefully the Social Distancing measures that have been put into practice will help to stop the spread of this viscous disease and life can go somewhat back to normal.

In the meantime, keep up the great work brothers and sisters!  You are among the most important people in society today along with healthcare workers and first responders.  Put on that armor daily and keep grinding.  Although your work identity has changed, your character remains the same!  And its that character that has allowed you to thrive during one of our countries most darkest hours. And to all those customers that are coming to the supermarkets to shop...please show a little respect.

Remember; only shop individually and not as an entire family.  Only buy what is necessary...no hoard shopping. 

​Please be kind to all fellow customers and associates.

Respect the six foot rule...yes that one.  Remember...social distancing? 
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Only ask legitimate questions while refraining from incompetent no brainers (Ex. Why don't you have toilet paper?).  Please respect everyone's personal space...do not come up into employees faces.  If your gonna cough please cover your mouth (you should be wearing a mask anyways).  When talking...please don't spit in the employees face.

If your going to wear gloves or masks...please educate yourself and become informed about the dangers of cross contamination and the proper use of said protective equipment.  Respect the set aside time periods that companies have instituted for our elderly and immunocompromised individuals as well as first responders and health care workers...don't be ignorant.  

And finally, please do not litter.  Your vile disgusting habits will not be tolerated.  Clean up your mess and please throw your gloves and masks in the trash can or dispose in your vehicles...not the supermarket parking lots.           
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    About Jason Voorhees

    Jason resides in Norristown, PA and writes about all things sports and heavy metal music.

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